Who is Justinian?

(Last Updated November of 2007)

I've created this site to help separate me from Corpreform, because Corpreform readers won't necessarily care about me, and vice versa.

Justinian:

My name is Justinian. It's pronounced Jus TIN ee an. Or, click here to hear my name pronounced correctly by the nice people at Merriam Webster. My father, an attorney, named me after the last great Roman emperor, Justinian the Great.

I've never met another Justinian, although I know a few of them are out there. I wonder if they too get junk mail addressed to Justine and Justina. For many years, I went by J.C. because I got tired of hearing my name butchered. Now, the only time I don't go by Justinian is when I go bowling - my bowling name is Jocko. My highest bowling score ever is 211, which was purely a fluke. My average is probably 110.

My Background:

I was born in New York but moved to Las Vegas when I was 11 days old. Hence, I basically consider myself to be a native of Las Vegas. I lived there until I was 19, and then moved away to Redmond, Washington. I've also lived in Portland, a suburb of New York City, a suburb of Los Angeles, parts of Texas, and I now live in Lansing, Michigan. I've lived in Lansing since 2004, and it's odd to have lived here so long; I generally move every two years or so.

My Previous Career:

I left high school at 15 and got a G.E.D. so I could work in the computer industry. By 17, I was a network administrator for the Department of Energy's nuclear test site in Nevada. Two years later, I worked for Microsoft as a software tester for Windows 98 and Windows 2000, and then as a network administrator for a now-defunct product. I've also been a contractor for UBS Swiss Bank, Sprint, Perot Systems, Wang, dozens of law firms, a few construction companies, and several non-profits.

My tech career crashed in 2001, along with the rest of the dotcom sector. In 1998, I was making almost $200k a year. In 2002, I was making $100 a week. Clearly, the tech sector wasn't what it once was. Not only was I broke, but I was about as burned out as I could be. I needed a change.

My Legal Career:

That change came for me when I returned to a law firm I once worked for in Texas. I began working on their computer systems, became a process server, and then an investigator. The latter two jobs were entertaining, but I wanted to be closer to the action. Since I was the most tech savvy guy in the office, I was put in charge of handling online legal research. Over the next year or so, I eventually transitioned into a paralegal role. And I discovered I loved the law.

That's ironic because I remember many years ago joking that a "bombastic, solipsistic, self-aggrandizing, poor-team-player such as me should go into law." That should tell you a little about me, and a little about what I think of most lawyers.

I knew I wanted to be a lawyer, but I lacked a college degree. The story of how I got my degree and enrolled in law school is lengthy enough that it has its own post. In August of 2007, I enrolled as a 1L at Michigan State University Law School in East Lansing, MI. Like just about every other law student, I have a law school blog - check it out.

My Interests:

Law: My number one interest is probably law. Why? It's the fabric that weaves our society together. If life is a game, law is the rules. Or, as Al Pacino said in The Devil's Advocate, "Law is the ultimate backstage pass."

I've got a few goals as a lawyer. I'd like to get the draconian fines levied under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act against music swappers held to be unconstitutional. I'd like to get State Farm v. Campbell overturned. (If we have capital punishment, we shouldn't cap punitive damages) And I'd also like to help - really help, not just profit from - victims of defective products. Or, summed up simply, I'd like to use the law to stick it to the man. After all, for the past thirty years, greedy corporations have managed to use the law to stick it to the little guy.

What I like about law is that it's one of the few meritocracies left in America. To me, there's something very pure and freeing about working in an industry where being right isn't only enough, it's all that matters. As a lawyer, it rarely matters who you piss off, or whose favor you court. What matters is being smarter, faster, and better than opposing counsel.

As you can probably guess, I want to be a trial lawyer. I want to fight. Transactional lawyers have their role, but that's not for me. I want to play a game where there is a clear winner and a clear loser. And if you come up against me, I'll do my damnedest to make sure you're the loser.

Writing: Working in law has helped me discover that I'm actually passionate about writing. That's why in addition to getting my J.D., I plan on getting a Masters in Technical Communication, and eventually a PhD in Technical Communication. As luck would have it, Texas Tech has an amazing online program for both of those degrees, so I'll be able to work on those while I'm practicing law.

Cars: If I won the lottery, I'd probably just spend the rest of my life alternating between traveling the world and screwing around with cars. If I had the means, I'd probably end up owning in excess of 100 cars, ranging from badass sixties iron to a 300C SRT-8, and even an Unimog for the ultimate offroad adventure. Nowhere in my stable of cars, however, would you find a ricer. And while I like some sport bikes, I'd probably never own one because I wouldn't want to be associated with sport bike owners, who tend to be arrogant pricks. This is similar to why I'll never go to Harvard - I would never want to be associated with a school that Mo Rocca went to.

My current car is a 1999 Pontiac Trans-Am with a six-speed, a couple of basic bolt-on mods, and an SLP Loudmouth exhaust system which really lives up to its name. I’m saving my pennies for some full length headers in order to pick up about 25 horsepower. I haven’t taken it to the drag strip, but I did get it up to 150 something on a deserted stretch of road in Texas. One of these days, I'll break 200... but not a public highway.

I also have a 1990 Ford Bronco with a 302, an AOD, a 4” Black Diamond lift and 35” tires. It also is nonoperational as an electrical gremlin has hosed part of the fuse box. I hope to get the damned thing back on the road soon, but since it only gets 10 mpg, I’m probably saving money by leaving it in the driveway. Come hell or high water, I will have it working by this winter, as my Trans-Am is not fun to drive in the ice and snow of Michigan.

Rumor has it that Chrysler is going to introduce a hardtop convertible version of the 300C. That’s the present I’m going to buy myself when I graduate law school. If that car doesn’t get made, I may go for the Jeep SRT 8. With 420 horsepower and all wheel drive, it ought to be a good daily driver. Or maybe I’ll disregard responsibility and buy a Corvette Z06. :) Regardless, I won't be buying a Japanese car. If I have one flaw, it's that I'm a fierce nationalist. I buy American, dammit.

Politics: For not quite a year, I worked for a Michigan Democratic Senator. He moved on to another office, and I didn’t follow. I still can’t decide if I had more fun working there or for the personal injury law firm. Both were rewarding, but in different ways. Whereas I got to work to help individuals while working at the law firm, I got to help everyone in Michigan in the Senator’s office. For example, I came up with the idea for legislation to increase some regulation of the nursing home industry, and to stiffen the penalties for abusing nursing home patients. I made revisions to the first draft of the proposed legislation, and am proud to say it became Michigan law.

If it weren't the worst photo of me ever taken, I'd post the picture of me with Senator John Edwards. (To hell with Charlton Heston - John Edwards is my President.)

Musical Tastes:

Music is another big part of my life. My favorite band is U2, which should also tell you I'm a fan of Coldplay. I'm a big fan of Robbie Williams, an English singer that hasn't really acheived fame in the U.S., despite the fact that he's bigger than Jesus in the U.K. Update: Someone needs to slap Robbie Williams for the "Rudebox" album.

As far as female vocalists go, I'm partial to Kylie Minogue, some Sarah McLachlan - the stuff that isn't so thick with estrogen that it shrinks my testicles - and lots of the unknown or obscure female vocalists in progressive trance. Some of my favorite trance artists are Paul Van Dyk, Paul Oakenfold, Armin Van Buuren, Ferry Corsten, and BT. Also ATB, because Ecstasy alone qualifies him as an amazing artist.

I also strongly encourage you to check out DJ Doboy. He spins some great sets and has introduced me to some great tunes. Oh, speaking of trance DJ’s, that’s why I have the handle “Dr. Juris.” It’s my DJ name. Rather, it will be if and when I ever get around to learning how to be a DJ. It’s on my list of things to do when I get a device that allows me to pause time so I can master obscure hobbies.

Despite spending time in Texas, I don't like country music. I'm also not a fan of rap, although the occasional rap song is damned good; Salt Shaker by the Ying Yang twins, and Damn, It Feels Good to be a Gangster by the Geto Boys both come to mind as examples of rap songs that I like. I would imagine that someday I'll be embarrassed that I ever put that in writing. Especially if I ever apply for a grant from The Heritage Foundation or run for office. But then again, if we can put a drunk-driving coke-addict in the White House, perhaps listening to a couple of misogynistic rap songs is forgivable, too. Whoops, that last sentence definitely blows my chances of getting a grant from The Heritage Foundation.

My Goals:

First and foremost, I hope to become a successful consumer rights attorney, which is not just a euphemism for "greedy trial lawyer," Republican accusations notwithstanding. While I'm sure I'll handle my fair share of car wrecks - and probably the shares of a few other lawyers, too - I don't want to be an ambulance chaser. (Catching an ambulance isn't a challenge in a Trans Am.)

Instead, I hope to take meaningful cases to trial that corporate defendants would rather settle confidentially. For example, Firestone settled dozens of death cases related to their defective tires. Had more aggressive lawyers had the guts to take those cases to trial, perhaps the tires would have been recalled sooner, and fewer people would have died.

I also would like to specialize in credit lawsuits. The current credit system is far beyond broken. It needs a major overhaul, and I think the best way to do it is “regulation through litigation,” that process which all conservatives seem to loathe. I assume they loathe it because it often corrects injustices that benefit corporations at the expense of citizens.

Some of my personal goals involve travel. For example, I'd really like to go on a four-month train trip across the world. It takes you across every continent except Antarctica. I'd also like to take a trip to Moscow for a fighter jet vacation; for $50k you get to fly a Mig 29 and shoot down an unmanned drone. And ever since watching Insomniac's "Sloshed In Translation" about Tokyo, I feel the need to go to Japan.

My Hobbies:

Getting drunk and heckling bad movies, in a more “adult” version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is always good fun. Any movie starring Fred Williamson is always a good choice to heckle. I also got an Xbox 360 for Christmas (thanks Mom and Dad!) and have been playing that quite a bit.

Contact Me:

I'm on Facebook and Linked In. My email is justinian at corpreform dot com.